Insomnia

"Insomnia is God's way of letting you know you've ticked him off."

--- Anonymous ---

I’m not sure why, but for whatever reason I had a really hard time getting to sleep last Monday night.  It’s winter here in northern Michigan.  We’d had a lot of snow and I had worked hard that day.  I was tired.  I got into a bed preheated by an electric blanket about 11:00 P.M.  And there I was.

Blink, blink.  Too hot:  Turn off the blanket.  Blink, blink.  Midnight:  Rotate right and kick off one more cover.  Blink, blink.  Twelve-thirty:  Rotate left and put that cover back on — too cold.  Blink, blink.

At 1:30 A.M. I got up and headed to the bathroom and noticed my neighbor had left his floodlight on.  Now this light doesn’t really shine directly into my bedroom, but when you’re tired and can’t sleep, any light — real or imagined — is like a searchlight from a used car lot.  You convince yourself that light is shining directly into your eyes. 

Back to bed.  Blink, blink.  Damn light !

Three A.M.:  That same light is now coming through a different window.  How does that work?

Blink, blink !

Somewhere around 3:30 A.M. I must have dozed off.  And at 4:00 A.M.:  Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep !  Smoke alarm?  Carbon monoxide detector?  Alarm clock?  What?  Oh, for God’s sake, it’s the snowplows in the restaurant parking lot.

Blink, blink, blink !!

Four-forty A.M.:  Close your eyes.  The snowplows are gone.

Four-fifty A.M.:  Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep !  The snowplows are now plowing snow from the street in front of my house.

Blink, blink, blink, blink !!!

Six A.M.:  Wide awake.  Oh, forget it!  Just get up and get the newspaper.

So I did that.  Right after I dug it out of the driveway the snowplows filled in for me.